This is about my arm, and me..
For those of you who don't know, I play baseball in the Tampa Bay Rays farm system. Farm system is just a fancy way of saying organization, sometimes farm system is used to simply refer to the minor leagues, so I am a minor leaguer. I was drafted by the then called Tampa Bay Devil Rays in 2007 out of Ole Miss, and spent my first year in pro-ball in Columbus, GA. Playing for the Columbus Catfish of the South Atlantic League, class Low-A, I had an up and down year, well half year. I ended up pitching around 30 innings that year for the Catfish, and when the year ended, we were champs! We took home the league championship that year, and it was so much fun. I then decided to take a week of before reporting to Instructional League, which is like a post-season spring training for a select group of players, and that is when I first began to experience some shoulder soreness. Managing to get through instructs, I was just excited to be able to take some time off after a long year of playing ball.
I picked up a throwing program in January of 2008 in preparation for the 2009 season, when that shoulder problem I first noticed back in September of 2007, really had become a major problem. I can remember trying to get through a 60 foot throwing program I couldn't even complete because of the pain. 60ft 6in is the length from the mound to home plate, and here I am throwing 60ft with a pain in my shoulder that was so intense I had to shut it down. I remember driving home that night and not being able to lift my right arm up to grab the steering wheel. I knew it was serious. I have never been very proactive about much of anything in my life up to this point, but I knew I needed to take some initiative about my shoulder. As weird as it sounds, it was a lot of me to ask of myself to give someone a call about something I thought needed to be done. I had to get my shoulder looked at by a doctor, like I said, I knew something was wrong. So, I called the Devil Rays.
After talking to the head minor league athletic trainer for the Devil Rays, we came up with a plan of attack for the situation. We decided that I should get on a plane a fly down to Tampa and get my should looked at by the team doctor. After an MRI showed some pretty significant damage to my labrum, I began to really worry. So what is the labrum? The labrum is different from the other common shoulder injury, the rotator cuff. Most have heard of the rotator cuff. The rotator cuff is a group of muscles and tendons where the labrum is a ring like structure that sits between the top of the humorous head and a part of the should blade. It basically acts as a cushion. The labrum is made of cartilage, and the rotator cuff is mostly muscles. I began a pre-hab at home in Tupelo to begin strengthening my shoulder to see if we could keep from having surgery. My shoulder bad become stronger and more stable, but the labrum just wouldn't get any better.
After spring training 2008 I decided to go ahead and have my shoulder operated on. On April 10, 2008 Dr. James Andrews operated on my shoulder. I remember waking up to him telling me he had done a lot of work in there. I didn't know just how serious he was. When I was in more of a comprehensive state of mind I had the operation better explained to me. I was told of the 360 degrees of a circle, 270 had to be repaired. Meaning 270 degrees of my labrum had been torn. Dr. Andrews used what he called "anchors" to attach my labrum back to the bone, where it belongs. A total of nine anchors were used in the operation. The common labrum surgery is a labral debridement, which is when there are fragments of the labrum causing some discomfort in the shoulder, in this operation there are no anchors needed. Its better understood simply as clipping a hang nail. So a labral debridement is basically like clipping a hang nail. No repair needed, just a little clip here and there. My problem was a little more complex than this. I needed a labrum repair. The common labrum repair usually consist of no more than two anchors, I have nine. So the extent of my shoulder pain may be better explained by those nine anchors. It was something serious. Gosh it was painful. For those of you who don't know, Drew Brees had the same shoulder surgery as I have. I believe he has 11 anchors. His labrum tear was caused by a forceful hit where he landed awkwardly. Dr. Andrews said my shoulder was in the top 5% of the worst shoulder surgeries he had done for a competitive overhand thrower. Im guessing Drew Brees is probably the 1%. Things have worked out well for him!! HA!!
Missing all of the 2008 season really was a disappointment. I spent the entire season, From April through the middle of October living in St. Petersburg, Florida rehabbing my shoulder. Rehab was six days a week. It was a long but eventful summer, I got lucky and had some awesome roommates. We kept ourselves busy away from the field with a number of hobbies. Although missing a year of playing ball seemed so tragic at first, it wasn't all that bad. I understood the rehab process was going to be long, so I tried to make the best of what I was given. I was constantly telling myself, "you'll be back in a year." I made a lot of progress that summer, but it was slow. It was the smallest of baby steps. I just kept reminding myself, "you'll be back in a year!"
One year later, it was now March 2009 and spring training was beginning. I showed up to camp in 2009 with the belief that I was going to break with a team at the end of camp and play baseball all year long. That did not happen. My shoulder just wasn't ready. I thought "okay, I'll be ready in a month," This didn't happen either. My shoulder still had a long way to go. Though I had made tremendous strides in my rehabilitation process, throwing was still very painful. This was a very difficult time for me. A lot of negative thoughts began to creep into my head: doubt, worry, frustration. Unlike the previous summer, 2009 was a lot more difficult. I spent a lot of time alone and a lot of time questioning if this was what I really wanted to do with my life. It was just a hard summer for me. I was so disappointed when I realized I was going to miss the 2009 season, just like I missed the 2008 season. Just like 2008, the 2009 season was going to be spent in rehab. UGH!
Now its March of 2010 and here we are again, spring training. Over the last year, I have had a number of convictions about the game of baseball, the gift of life, and the way I should approach 2010. I told myself I will always work hard and always put a smile on my face. The game is a kids game, it has always been fun to me and I will continue to let this game be fun to me, with or without nine anchors. I have always treated the game with respect, but also it sure is fun. I pushed my arm over the off-season harder than I ever have since surgery to prepare for 2010. I would never be able to live with myself if I knew had I worked a little harder, I could have played again. I really asked a lot of my arm over the off-season, and over time it began responding.
Though I have not yet participated in a baseball game since 2007, I am currently participating in all the drills, all the runs, and all the laughs. It has been a very long and difficult two years, due to a number of different things. At this point, right here and right now, all I have is today. All anyone has right now is today. All I can do is pray to God to give me tomorrow, and if he does, try and live a life worth following. I have today and also the ability to prepare already for my future. At 25, I finally understand that the things I do today will remain with me the rest of my life.
What do you want to be remembered for?
No comments:
Post a Comment