Another update..

My last spring training update consisted primarily of explaining, or trying to explain, how spring training works. Actually it was more about how the placement of all the players are determined. After 13 days of spring training, I'll begin explaining where I am exactly, more on my arm, and my outlook on the things that are to come.

Currently I am on the Bowling Green(low-A) roster, or in camp known as "group 4." There are also three other groups: group 1(AAA), group 2(AA), and group 3(High-A). This group is basically my working group for camp, therefore, I spend most of my day with this particular group. My group, group four, consist of mostly first year guys. Most of the guys are just out of high school experiencing their first times away from home. I'm sure it is a difficult transition for most of them, but they all seem to handle it well at least thats the way it seems on the outside. I can only imagine how difficult it must be because they are so young, usually 18 or 19. I was 18 once, seven years ago. So, I want you to try an imagine the topics of conversation that intrigues a bunch of boys with nothing but time on their hands. Yeah, you bet. Not usually the kind of conversation I enjoy. Ha! Honestly, they are all really good guys, just young and a little immature at times, that's all. I completely understand. Though meeting new people has never been a problem of mine, I probably have the reputation of being a jerk amongst group four due to my lack of interest in their "trending-topic". Although I'm consciously choosing to not participate in their day-to-day conversations, I am by no means trying to be a jerk to any of guys. I really hope they don't think I am at least. When I do engage in conversation I usually try and talk more productive things, like ball, or the world, or maybe at a later date when I'm a little more confident, my faith.

At this point in camp I couldn't be more pleased with how well my arm is responding to the unfamiliar usage it has to endure. My fear coming into camp was how it would hold up to all the throwing asked of us everyday. At this point it has held up extremely well. Like I said, I couldn't be more pleased. As of today(3/20), I have now thrown off the mound four times. My first two times off the mound this spring were just bullpen sessions. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with what a bullpen session is exactly, I'll explain. A bullpen session is when pitchers go to work on their craft, just a pitcher and a catcher. Most of the time the bullpen session is limited to a certain number of throws. In my case my number has been 40. The absolute most a pitcher should throw in the bullpen should be 45 pitches, with that said maybe you can get an idea of just how well my arm has responded. The third time I got off the mound I threw what we call in pro-ball a "live batting practice." The only difference between a bullpen and a live bp is a batter. During a live bp batters stand in the batters box and try and hit, similar to a real game. The frustrating part is I have to tell the batters what is coming. To keep the pitcher safe during a live bp a screen is placed in front of the mound to shield the pitcher from the come-backer. My most recent time off the mound was just another bullpen session of 42 throws. On Sunday(3/21) I will throw in my first intrasquad game. No screen. Just me and the catcher on a real field for the first time since September 2007.

I am not sure where I will be playing baseball this season. I have many hopes, but not real sure they are reality. My main goal is to just stay healthy, or as close to it as possible. Am I 100%? I'd have to say no. I believe through all the days of hard work and time put into rehab, I now may have a new 100%. My shoulder is no longer the way God made it and I am fully aware of that. I am aware that my new 100% may never be what it once was, but thats okay, I'll just have a new 100%. Am I close to my new 100%? I'd have to say yes. So that really does make me smile. My competitive spirit will probably never allow me to be content with how my arm feels or how well my fastball is coming out of my hand, but thats life, everyone has a difficult time settling. I always strive for something a little more, thats why I work as hard as I have. I want to be better tomorrow than I was today, and thats in all aspects of life. I do believe that if my arm were to feel the way it has the last month or so, I will pitch again.

Will my arm ever be the way God made it? No. I must accept it and continue on. I have been blessed with the opportunity to continue playing baseball, so thats what I'm going to do, I'm going to play. I have today, and I hope I am blessed with tomorrow. If God gives me a new day, I plan on being better tomorrow than I was today. Please remember, we can never get back the things that happened in the past, but we can always prepare ourselves for tomorrow. Both on the field, and off. We only have one name, and one life.

What do you want to be remembered for?